Tuesday, January 1, 2019

Why I Did NOT Set Goals for 2019

With all its many ups and downs, 2018 finally ended last night. In many respects, it brought me a lot of fascinating encounters and new good friends, a lot of knowledge about myself and my inner powers but also way too much stress, misunderstanding and worries-driven mind. 
Professionally, it was a very good year, with a lot of collaborations unfolding and many successful projects achieved. I was able to achieve a healthy financial stability, while expanding my contacts and working hard to achieve my goals. My debts diminished and I can finally look more optimistically into the future, thinking about new investments with a more relaxed outlook.
An important step forward towards achieving mental stability, was a lot of time spent thinking and discussing about what my real needs are, learning to be more proud about my own successes, about what I am and I become, but also taking it lightly on failures. Taking more care about my health was also important, with 3 full weeks spent in a relaxing resort, where I was able to practice a lot of sport, discuss with specialists about how to better balance life and work while coping with the challenges of single parenting. The most important part was to recognize the friends where they were and nurture the relationship with people that really matter.
However, things were not always as smoothly as I made them look like. It was a lot of stress and insecurities, way too many worries and false expectations and way too many disappointments. This heavy load leaded to a lot of sleepless nights or bad sleep nights, a lot of stress that leaded to allergies and weakened the immunity system therefore in the last weeks of the year I had to cope with a pretty bad flu that seems to be there to stay, as my end of the year counting of blessings were really not going too good.
Obviously, discovering yourself hurts sometimes and the path towards peace cannot happen without stumbling upon some hard rocks and this cannot be without results, some of them pretty hurtful. How else can you grow up otherwise?
Although I am a pretty careful planner and I love to set clear goals both personally and professionally, for this year I am more relaxed and less strict towards myself. Because my most important aim is to learn how to relax and enjoy life, how to be happy and at ease with myself, nurturing relationships and simply being myself. I don't want anything big or too high or amazing or outstanding. I want to be alive, and healthy, and fully enjoy every single moment of my short life. I want to be happy and content that my child is happy and content and strong enough to deal with everyday's life struggles. 
I want to dedicate a lot of time to people that really matter in my life and find a balance between my priorities, both in life and professional. I want to be surrounded by people that enjoy their life and see the best in people and their personal stories. I want to search for happiness, wherever it happens to be. 
Cheers to a new beginning and hopefully, in 12 months from now I will be able to share more positive interesting stories about my experience. 

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