Taking a Summer Break from Online Dating?

The Dating World is such a narrow bridge...

Is summer the right time to reconsider and re-evaluate your dating standards and aims? To sum up all the experiences you had over the year and take the right step towards a final decision or just freezing all the dating attempts for a while?

Especially if you are into online dating - and not the classical matchmaking, which is also good - you may feel overwhelmed by the amount of messages or 'likes' to your profile, but almost no real-time dates. It seems that many guys are there only to kill some time, while browsing profiles but nothing serious to consider. Is this because free dating sites are, you know, free and people just set up as many free profiles on those free dating websites mostly for having some fun not necessarily looking for a serious and stable relationship?

Sometimes it is easier to judge and make fast assumptions, as the reasons people are avoiding a real-time date may be as many as the motivations of creating a profile on an online dating website. Some may be not ready for a date, some may be afraid of moving forward some are just to shy. Of course, when you feel out of time and annoyed that after months of chats and time wasted online nothing really happened, taking a break, or completely breaking out is also a good decision. Good or bad, it is your decision and especially if you are on a free dating site, there is no financial loss involved therefore no big regrets.

When online dating is no more fun, and your stress level is higher than in one of your previous failed relationship(s) my recommendation will be to just to take a break for a short while or longer. Especially when summer is around the corner, and there are so many things to see and social opportunities to meet people in real life, such a break may in fact open your eyes to the potential available men that are out in the wild life and not only on the other side of the computer. It is a different communication which is completely worth the try.

In fact, if you want to have all your options open, you have to always try juggling between the online and offline dating. Thus, you have more open options that can only bring you good luck.

Another advice would be to change the dating website. With so many free or paid apps and online sites, you can easily switch to one or two more tailored to your interests. Using too many of them is also not too good, as it may be too hectic and exhausting. I personally recommend using maximum 3 apps, preferably one general, one more geographically confined and another another one eventually paid. 

As I am right now on a rest-and-relaxation wellness break, I decided to take a short break from online dating, reconsider my options and aims and return to the busy life with a different, hopefully more relaxed perspective on life - and dating too.

Online Dating - Going Locally

Disclaimer: This is a sponsored post, but the opinions are, as usual, my own.

With Valentine's Day almost one week away, you had enough time to think about what your love life resolution for the next 12 months will be. Don't get me wrong. I will never start lecturing that only a life in two is worth living. Not at all. I haven't changed my mind claiming that, in fact, it some relationships and love stories are not meant to be, you better find the perfect ways to get the best of your life now, enjoying its perks as a perfectly happy single person. A physically or mentally abusing relationship, when you simply don't feel yourself and are hurt every single day is not worth living, only for the sake of the social conveniences claiming that any single person is a failure. 

However, life in two do have its own little pleasures, of sharing your meals and feeling with someone worth of your attention and your time. Love and intimacy are precious things that should be offered when the time has come for the right person into your life. 

But there are some people that feel perfectly fine on their own as there are people that cope hard with their loneliness. For those for whom Valentine's is not easy to survive with so much sparkles and hearts and its media branding completely on their own, it is about time to change something in your single life. With or without a relationship coach, you need to start by figuring up what you want from your love life in the next 12 months, just in time to not be single the next 14th of February. Deadlines when it comes to finding that unique person doesn't work well and can be very counter-productive, especially when under the pressure you can make a wrong choice, only because you wanted to check that box too. But you know what, if you are realistic enough with your business plans and don't want to build an empire in one month, must probably you will be wise enough not to dream too big about your love life either. After all, everything starts by knowing yourself, your potential and mindset.

Online dating can be an option

Now, that you got your objectives done, it is about time to start putting them into practice. Where you can find those single people is again a matter of what you are looking for in your life. It can be a Meetup group, or a social event for singles only, but it can also be done by getting busy with the activities you love the most. If you are into horseback riding, spending more time at your favorite club might bring you near some other potential half with the same hobby which is looking to find its match too. If you have a more traditional background, you can use a matchmaker whose input is based on feedback from people that know your potential match from real life and you skip a couple of stages that are quite time consuming when you meet randomly. 

Or, you can use a local online dating service. If you are new into it or reluctant about what you can expect, you can start by reading books and other online resources created by people that went there, done that. Learn about the etiquette and  why you can give it - or not - a try. There are so many options for any age and senior dating is no more a shame, but rather a normal way to start your love life, regardless the year you were born. 

Then, time to start getting to know your local online dating sites and apps, selecting what suits you the best and setting up your profile. You can use the same profile and photo too, and see what is going on and what the offer is. If you are for now more relaxed in terms of what you are looking for, adult dating sites can easily help you find likeminded individuals looking exactly for the same thing as you.

Although all the big online dating sites offer nowadays the chance to browse matches within your area, I personally will be very happy to use a specific online resource for my very specific local needs. The local-themed websites are very useful especially if you are new in a small little town or area and want to meet only people living there. Otherwise, in big capital cities, as you know, there is always plenty of fish. As I am living in Germany now, I can only envy the very organised British online dating initiatives, keeping in mind the needs of the local singles. It helps you to have a narrow but more successful focus. If you want checking the dating Buckinghamshire offer curious about Cornwall dating offers or fancy single men in Portsmouth, you have everything ready for you on your screen. Your love life can be only one click away.

Last but not least, after getting to know in writing your potential dates, you need to plan your first date. Carefully, in public spaces and being sure, as for now, to do not share too many private information, such as the home address, dare to meet him or her and see if you are meant to be. Spending too much time chatting online is not very productive, unless you are looking for a penpal, which is not what a dating site is for, anyway.

After each date, make a short evaluation and with a relaxed, drama-free attitude, see how things are going on and what can be done. Keep your sense of humour, your self-esteem and keep exploring life and its wonders. Everything is about the journey, not necessarily the destination, isn't it?

Online Dating Etiquette: Some 5 Useful Tips

It's weekend, that time of the week when most of us, singles, do feel a bit under the weather and maybe longing for that special someone for keeping your warm or planning your next winter trip. As usual, the next step is up to you: you can either keep dreaming, or take the dramatic decision of chaning this unpleasant situation. Perhaps you are just considering to open an account on one of the many online dating sites, and you need just a bit of encouragement that you are on the right path. Or maybe you are just thinking to join one of the many single meetings in your hometown.

Whatever your decision, as a modern woman fully aware of your power, you are the one and only to take the decision. But if you are ready for finding your match online, I am happy to share with you five useful tips for the online dating etiquette:

1. Always be polite!

You don't have to be exclusively into older dating in order to keep your politeness at a high-end level. Being polite, keeping the conversation at a very respectful yet honest level is an attribute of good education, regardless your age and gender. 

2. Differences matter!

I am not only talking about the usual differences, such as education, gender and income, but it also has to do with various regional differences which might influence the dating patterns. Thanks to online dating, people can find nowadays a partner oversea or hours away from their hometown. How they succeed to keep the relationship? By taking into account the different regional aspects, including in terms of language, even under the same generous category of 'English'. Therefore, Gloucester dating might be completely different of Lincolnshire dating, Nottingamshire dating or Cornwall dating. A bit of research doesn't hurt at all!

3.  Be cautious!

It is important to be honest and open about yourself and what do you expect from a relationship, but take your time and think twice before sharing too much information about yourself, including your address or even sharing your phone number. If you have children, wait until things are getting more serious until introducing to each other. It doesn't mean necessarily that something wrong would happen to you if you are doing, but you better wait and check a little bit the other person until he or she becomes more real than an online profile and an obviously smiling picture!

4. You aren't looking for a penpal, isn't it?

A couple of years ago, I 'met' a pretty educated guy on an online site and we started to share a lot of interesting things about life, books we've read, science and many more. Practically, we ended up exchanging more than 4-5 long messages each day, where we were talking about so many great things and shared high-end scientific articles too. Then, it happened to be in the same country and we kept doing the same exchange, meeting only twice. When together in real time, it was obviously no chemistry, nothing really compatible about each other so after a while, the 'relationship' was lost and it was meant to be as we were nothing more than passionate penpals.

5. Keep it to the point!

As a modern independent woman, you know what you are looking for and what kind of partner you would love to spend time with. There is natural selection operating on online dating as it does in most of our life choices: It is nice to meet people from all over the world and backgrounds, but don't forget the reason why you are online dating! Therefore, it is important that before you are getting your profile ready to publish, have a little brain storming with yourself about what you are looking for. It is much better not only for your time management, but for the other person too. Sending the wrong message might be deceiving and the sooner you make things clear, the better. 

Post written part of WeLoveDates.com Brand Ambassador assignment

To Date or Not to Date (Online)

Source: https://stocksnap.io/photo/UMIOY6CVUM

You know how the songs goes on: 'First I was afraid, I was petrified...', when freshly single I was recommended by more than one person to try my chance on one of the many online dating sites available around. Isn't it an obvious sign of personal failure to look for love, friendship and who knows, maybe a marriage too, online? Meaning that clearly finding someone in real life was a mission impossible because probably I am missing the proper human social skills to find and keep a serious relationship?

Such thoughts are actually clearly legitimate, as for a long time online dating was associated with anything serious. However, time changed and the more I become familiar with the intricacies of the virtual dating world, the more I realized that, in fact, the people you can find on the Internet are exactly the same kind of people that you might encounter in real life. The difference is that you not even need to meet them and blocking them out of your life is only one click away. Think about how many bad dates you had when you were set up by a matchmaker or your parents or who known what other good people from your life? The time wasted preparing and the sour taste of a failed evening listening to nonsense! When you are part of one of the best dating sites, you have enough time to test the waters and check the potential date suitability before the actual meeting is taking place.

The diversity of online dating sites become overwhelming lately, which increases the chances of finding the person you are looking for. Interested in finding the right date divorced singles or rather more into senior dating? If you are focused on a specific geographical area, the Internet has a generous offer in this respect too, from dating agency Manchester opportunities to options as remote as Christchurch dating or just adult dating for those who are interested just in the experience. There are special website for farmers or animal lovers or people with high education looking to find their (academic) peers and the list is getting more and more diverse each day.

After a couple of online experiences, I can openly say that indeed, there are many strange people using the net without too many inhibitions, hiding behind a nickname to display various impolite and abusive behaviors. With more serious websites offering the 'block' option, you can easily get read of such characters. It is much easier than in real life, believe me!

So? What exactly keeps you from opening an account to any of the many online dating sites? Especially if you are an independent person, as I am, working from home and freelancing and travelling all over the world, as I do, this is the shortest way to finding your romance. 

After I spent so many nights trying to weight the pros and cons of the online dating, only one and only solution was chosen: to date (online) as it is no tomorrow. Because every single one of us deserves to seriously think about ending up the single years, doesn't actually matter how exactly.

For more inspiration, check the We Love Dates webpage

Post written part of WeLoveDates.com Brand Ambassador assignment

Secrets and Tips for a Successful Online Dating Experience

Online dating, hate it and love it, but we are all giving it a chance when time has come to be single again. It is not a shame or a sign of romantic failure, but could be instead a smart way to find someone, and in my books, it can work the same way as the good ol' matchmaking, except that you are the one who needs to browse through the profiles. I personally love those sites where you can be actually virtually matched and showed those singles with a similar profile as yours. The rest, is a matter of luck, fate and careful consideration of the candidates.

Especially if you are a freelancer the chances to meet a work crush and to go to after-work parties, therefore, all you are left with is to open an account on many of the online apps and, start swiping - right or left, depending of what you see in the front of your eyes. 

But it is important to do it right, especially if you are new into the scenery. For the skeptical and the beginner, but also for those who are not sure what they did wrong - if ever - there are books to deal with and experts to ask. Brent Louis Miller is one of them. Author of '101 Protocols for Online Dating', he is sharing with my readers some advice about how to find your half in the virtual world. 

- How much dating changed after it was upgraded to the 'online' level?

Kismet is an old fashion term related to "fate" when it comes to finding love...online dating made "Kismet" easier for more people. No longer did men and women have only their local "pool" of singles to consider, but suddenly, anybody in the world. For those living in a small town, that is a game changer! Also, the information you include in your profile and others include in theirs, based on nudging from the online dating sites makes it easier to "narrow down" options. For example, if smoking is a deal breaker and someone includes that they are a daily smoker, you can swipe left and keep going. 

 

- What would you say to someone skeptical to enter the online dating world? 

Give it a try! If you travel and you're out of your hometown area, then you can experiment with how it works without the fear of "running into someone" you know, if you aren't quite sure how it all works at first. 

One of the greatest benefits of trying is that people on a dating site are interested in dating, and many sites even give you an idea of their intent—whether marriage-minded or something more casual. You aren't having to wonder, as you do when you first meet someone, how interested they are in finding love, or at least a great friend.

You get to learn, by reading the person's profile, quickly, what their priorities and intentions are - which would be awkward to ask immediately of a stranger in many social gatherings when you stumble across someone who is intriguing. 

Online dating profiles offer a myriad of information about each person. Pictures (is it a selfie, is the person looking professional or half dressed, etc.) and a personally written introduction provide a glimpse of their personality, priorities, and interests—far more than you would learn during a mere chance encounter.   

- What is your advice for someone testing for the first time the waters of this kind of dating?

Start out slow, but don't necessarily turn into a pen pal either. Exchange some emails through the dating site. 

• Does the person seem to have a grip on the English language? 
• Does his story make sense or are his messages to you super generic like "You're Beautiful. I am honest man looking for a woman to treasure."? (real guys don't write messages like that - nor do they write like English is their second language!) -If you see this pattern, it's probably a fake profile. Just move on and check out the next profile. 

If you are interested in someone after some emails, maybe you or he will suggest a phone call. Talk a bit to see if you still think he's interesting and you have some things in common. Don't hand out your email too quickly - or set up an email that you only use for online dating without identifying information - such as your name - in the address. Your cell number is OK to give out after a few interactions. Generally women don't give out their last name before meeting and feeling pretty secure. Gentlemen who are hypersensitive to understanding women need to feel safe, generally will share their last name before meeting.

If you want to meet after this, then choose a safe place. Most seasoned online daters decide that a coffee date or lunch during the day or early evening is a great way to test the waters in person. If he's suggesting going for "adult beverages" or meeting at 9:00 p.m. at a place you've never been - probably not a good situation. Watching next time you're in Starbucks and I'll bet you'll be savvy enough to notice now that there are some "first dates" from online dating sites that are taking place - all different ages. And, just let a friend know where you are going and when. 

Unless you are looking for a "hook up" then don't put yourself for several dates in a situation that could imply that - don't invite him into your place and don't go to his place, just as you wouldn't someone that you've just met somewhere on your own.

If you follow this protocol, then you're on your way to seeing if you may be a good a match in the real world.

- What are the main risks?

Depending on your personality and how quickly you "fall" for a guy, take it slowly so that you don't get ahead of the situation and imagine the two of you "walking down the aisle" after a date or two. Be open to a new relationship, but don't run the risk of getting too invested too quickly. Dating sites are for people wanting to find their perfect match, but aren't filled with people desperately grabbing the first single they meet. 

Use common sense, just as you would in meeting someone out and about. Keep your personal infomation (last name, address, where you work) private until you get to know someone pretty well. (A reg flag should be raised when some ask too much personal information).  Meeting in a public place for the first couple of times and then safety should never be an issue. 

- What matters the most to have an attractive yet genuine online dating profile?

Your photos should really reflect who you are. It's impossible to stress strongly enough how important good photos are! Your photo is your first and best shot of capturing someone's attention as they are flipping through their potential matches whether on Tinder, Match.com or Plenty of Fish, etc. 

Some good choices for photos include one of you smiling, in action doing what you like to do (on a tennis court for example), showing more of you than just your face so that men can get a real sense of what you look like - they may well meet you in person, so don't act like you are an emaciated  92 pound girl, if you have a normal body (or larger - there's a match for everyone)

It is your profile pictures that entices someone to click and read more about you. Your dream date will never get to know how wonderful you really are unless your smiling face motivates them to click. 

And then, share a bit about yourself. A ridiculous number of unimaginative people write that they'd like to walk hand-in-hand on a beach at sunset - but come on, who does that in real life consistently?! If you're a woman who likes to watch sports - put it in your profile, guys like it - if you don't, just don't mention it. If you stay fit by hiking, playing a team sport with your friends, or work out, by all means mention it. If you are worried about catching the attention of men who are just wanting a physical relationship, by all means include "Not on here for a hookup" - you'll see that some men post that as well. 

Be who you are as you want to meet someone who is attracted to you as much as you are to them. Remember, you wouldn't interview someone to work with you only with the intent of getting them to accept the job offer. Same thing with dating, you want to be sure that the "candidate" is someone you want to spend time with as well.