With Klicksafe against Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying is affecting an increasing number of teens, in Europe and abroad, equally girls and boys. The victims do have ages between 10 and 16, the most dangerous time for internalizing pain and abuses of all kinds. Some of the effects are either that the victim is becoming an aggressor him or herself or that anti-social dramas and serious depressions are developping. Often, the dramas are consumed in silence, no parent or close friend or relative being able to notice the suffering, unfortunately in many cases until it is way too late. 

Besides a close and active relationship with your children, it is possible to fight against cyberbullying using the same weapons used by aggressors - the World Wide Web. At the level of the European Union a budget was created through Youth Initiative supporting projects aimed to counter this dangerous phenomenon. Thus, the Klicksafe was created as a platform offering support and assistance to the cyberbullying victims. 

Part of it, an app was created - free, available for both Android and Apple - in English, French, German and Luxembourgish - aimed to offer first help for victims of cyberbullying. The two main characters, Tom and Emma, are helping the users to cope with various situations and offer a big variety of tutorials about how to protect yourself from the harm and react properly to online bullying. A noteworthy initiatives which might save young people from the torments of suffering in silence. It might save lives too.

Parenting advice for the responsible parent

Like it or not, we as adults, are what our parents and grandparents made of us The person we are now is the result of historical parenting patterns transmitted or slightly altered, from one generation to the other. The good news is that we can change it and detach ourselves from the generational matrix. The bad news is that we need a lot of time and effort and very often the help of a therapist.
     Your Living Legacy is not a self-help book, but a guided tour of discovering yourself as a parent. It may happen that you will discover something radically different from what you expected. Based on over two decades of practice, it offers a rare mix for this kind of book-- of theoretical framework and practical checking, examples and exercises.  

     My experience with parenting books is that you either have one or the other, but maybe I am not literate in this domain yet. It also has the right balance of using simple wording for describing sophisticated parenting situations, which is another asset of the book, the author stays away from the temptation to show off high skills in juggling with complicated scientific terminology.

     Based on her clinical practice, the cases revolve around the mother-daughter relationship, which limits the perspective to a certain extent. It simplifies the discussion, but on the other hand eliminates the cases when the father is also an active parenting actor with a definitive role in the education process.

     Instead of focusing on the child as the main parenting problem, the author took into consideration 'what the parent is doing that might create or contribute to the problem'. A logical approach, as most of the child’s problems originate within the family. Further on, the choice of the parenting style is highly influenced by 'how you were raised as a child'.

     The dynamic of the relationship between mother and daughter is very complex and the merit of the author is to focus briefly on the most important interactions and potential sources of conflicts. For instance, “ rebellion” can also be a plea to get the parent to set stronger limits'. These issues are analyzed in the smallest detail through an extensive list of 20 parenting styles, defined generally as 'patterns of behavior that are your typical ways of interacting with your child, especially when you are under stress'. The questionnaire at the end of each description helps you find your own parenting style and gives short suggestions about how to go beyond the negative patterns.

     The sooner the problems are identified the better, as there is always the possibility to change the pattern and save the relationship with your child. Through communication, listening and learning from your child, besides seeking advice from a professional therapist, things can be changed for the good, and the mistakes used as a ladder to growth.

      It is a book that raises awareness and challenges you to ask questions -- it is never too late to start reading.

Rating: Four out of five stars

Disclaimer: The publisher offered my the book via NetGalley.com, but the opinions are, as usual, my own.

Histerically laughing about teenagers

What else can you do when you have at least one piece of wild teenager in the house? Sometimes I am worried that something wrong happens with the brain between certain ages but hopefully everything is erased with one click. Except for those having care of them, who are supposed to be the victims of their confusing personality. As a survivor of the life with a teenager, I may agree with a friend of mine that in the old good times they were so right to send the kids away from families during this age, for acquiring an apprentiship, or getting an education, or whatever reason. 

Jan Weiler wrote previously about teenagers - Pubertiere (Tiere means animals in German, so you do not need advanced linguistic skills for understanding the getting the meaning of the  title - how he calls them, so this recent book is a follow up. Kind of update saying 'hey, I survived life with 2 - TWO! for Gd's sake - teenagers'. Altough reading this book will not change anything from the usual drama of the co-habitation with such a creature, at least it makes you laugh. Laugh therapy is good. The most efficient weapon against the tyrans. If not used with the German humour - to add a lot of sarcasm and self-admiration abot how smart you are when you make the joke - you may not get it in many cases, but as for now the book is available in German anyway - including audio version - so if you read it it means that you know more than the basic 'ich bin, du bist...' kind of training. (PS. The der, die, das thing you will never get it...never). 

Why you have to read this book: because you will feel less lonely, more relaxed, ready for a new day with the teenager under the same roof, and more convinced than ever that the dictatorship should be fought against. Wherever you are on this planet, there are many other parents too trying to understand the secret language of their teenies and to order more Energy drinks instead of the old times lemonade because, this is how it works. 

The optimistic me hopes that it is not always the same and at least my sweet little boy will be always respectful and cute and never, but never ever, a wild teenage-animal. At least now, I do have a lot of experience about what to expect. And believe me, be ready to expect the worse.