Why You May Consider a Family Photo Shooting Session

The entrance of my photo studio

A couple of weeks ago, I won a free family photo shooting at a newly opened studio in my neighbourhood and besides the happy feeling of getting a present I openly accepted, I decided to give more than a thought to such an event.

I am personally very camera shy and I rarely have pictures of myself. I went all over the world and I can hardly have any single picture of me in the front of a famous world wonder. With my kids, except one or two selfies, I am usually the one who is always taking the pictures, therefore, we have only a few precious memories of all of us in the same photo. And it is a big pitty, as having those pictures together is part of the common memories we build about us as a family, from a very early age. Therefore, at least one family photo once the year or every two years is very inspired idea, especially if you are looking for some professional inspiration. Isn't it so moving after years to look how all of you changed, developing from small crawling babies to handsome responsible adults?

However, such an adventure might come with costs. For a basic photo shooting that lasts around 30 minutes, the printing of the photos and other additional editing, plus the make-up and other specific arrangements can get you an invoice of around 300 EUR. The costs increase if you want the photographer to come to your home or for a special event - like anniversary. 

In order to avoid the costs, one can consider asking the neighbour with the camera to do it, but free doesn't mean that you will be offered high-end results. An experienced photographer knows how to create the best angle and catch the right expression of all of you and also will use the best quality paper to print your photos.  

All you need is to relax, look your best and gather more and more beautiful memories with your family. It is worth any single euro.

Your Child's First Trips to the Dentist and other Healthy Teeth Routines

My big girl hates going to the dentist. It was always like this, regardless what kind of problems she had or what kind of doctors we visited. Every time we were supposed to go for regular checkings or for some serious appointments, she was terrified, with outbursts of panic attacks and deep anxious moments. Now, as a fully 18+ years old, she is in the same mood every time when faced with the prospect of a visit to the dentist, whatever the reason.

On the other end of the spectrum, is me who with 6 was sent to the dentist on her own and never experienced any terrifying moments when on the chair. I always had teeth issues and although a regular checking program and many family dentist friends took care of me, nothing could stop the teeth decay and even more visits to the dentist. But although I also went through really weird episodes - when one dentist lady decided to make an extraction without anesthetic because she was afraid that I might have an allergic reaction to it - I kept trusting the doctors, using any visit as an opportunity to talk about teeth health and other medical related issues. A knowledge that didn't help that much as apparently the lack of a proper food in early childhood and some genetical issues faced me with the unpleasant situation of starting loosing my teeth in my early 20s.

Baby Teeth Routines

With my 2-year old son, the situation is still work in process, but I tried from his 8 month of life on to introduce the dental care routines into our daily life. In our advantage plays also the fact that in Germany, there are local institutions in charge with such issues, and from his first year of life we were requested to pay a visit to the city hall dentistry cabinet to learn about basic rules of stomatological care, including what products to not use - such as sweet juices. 

We started by brushing the teeth twice the day - in the morning and in the evening - by using fluoride-based tooth paste, without added sugar, and trying to find the best eco- and using friendly tooth brushes, as the one we had from Planet Bamboo. Introducing this routine into the daily life was made step-by-step and as usual, the best way to do it is by offering yourself the best example. My son was able to see that I am doing the same and even that before I am brushing his teeth, I am doing the same with his favorite Teddy bears.

However, our trips to the pediatric dentist weren't always a cup of tea. With the pediatrician he was always friendly and as we go there regularly, there is a certain connection between the two, therefore although once in a while he is not so keen to go through the regular healthy checkings, the doctor has enough authority to convince him to do. With the pediatric dentist the situation is a little bit different. It might be some mysterious way which scares the kid every time he or she sees a chair and all the tools around it. Convincing my otherwise friendly son to sit on it, even on my lap, was almost impossible and here we are, 4 visits to the dentist later and still unable to keep him to the mouth open for more than 1 second...

Keep Visit the Dentist

Although at this stage, the risk of serious teeth decay problems is probably very low, I still recommend to use the services of a pediatric dentist, as he or she will certainly have some extra acquired skills about how to deal with children. Or, at least, the cabinet do have some stuffed animals and other kiddy attractions that might keep your baby entertained and in a better friendly mood. Another tip will be to keep visiting the dentist once in a while, maybe every 6 months, just to let your baby used with the ambiance, and the doctor and, if lucky enough for keep him on the chair, the basic routines. Especially if you are a single parent with a limited time in your pocket, you might feel annoyed by all those visits and consider it a waste of time, but believe me, you made in fact an investment in your child and it is what matters after all. As in the case of the pediatrician, it is important that you keep an open line with your dentist for consultations about the best toothpaste and brush to use and any other issues that might affect the dental health of your child - the proper foods and what to avoid - too much sweets, for instance - is equally noteworthy. Especially when you have a family history of tooth problems - as I do - finding the right strategy for keeping the genetics in chess cannot be done without the adequate professional help.

Therefore, it is important that besides the pediatrician, to have also a good reliable dentist for your baby too, which will help you to keep the serious dental problems at bay and avoid serious issues later into adulthood. Dental issues are opening the door to many other ugly maladies therefore be sure that you do everything possible to prevent serious issues, by using an early dentistry checking for your baby. 

Mindfulness for parents, step-by-step

Life with a baby - or more - is challenging, unexpected and, at the end of every day, exhausting. How to find then place in your hectic schedule for the luxury of mindfulness, a concept that I explored on another occasion into more detail?

This book by Amber Hatch offers no only theoretical support  but also many useful practical examples shared by the author, a parent too, and other parents, is explaining why actually parents should focus more on mindfulness, which will help the mental wellbeing of their children too. Through it, better relationships can be built, and 'a little bit of distance' as well as a 'sense of perspective' are given. With an open mind, we can learn a lot from our little ones too, as 'children can act as our teachers in the sense that they show us how to be present'. 

Written in an accessible style, Mindfulness for Parents makes you feel more relaxed about juggling jobs between tantrums and food spilled all over the house. The best we can do is to try 'to meet our baby's needs', Hatch taking out of the picture the obsession that we, as parents, we need to keep the babies happy. Even though you are not too much into spiritual retreats and meditation, you may find a couple of useful and comforting tips, releaving the heavy weight of parenting from our shoulders. 

On the other hand, it encourages to cultivate a peaceful and beautiful house, avoid the consummerism temptation by avoiding to carry on the kids into the shop all round the day, spending more time in the middle of the nature and developing positive qualities such as loving-kindness, compassion, joy and equanimity. 

A book strongy recommended to new and experienced parents, in the middle of a devastating tantrum or just trying to find the right spiritual routines for their children. With such books, parenting life is much easier.

Rating: 4 stars

Disclaimer: Book offered by the publisher in exchange for an honest review

Parenting advice

Sometimes, when I am reading parenting books - not that often - I feel like I will never be able to cope with all the challenges of different ages and developments. I also got more scared than normally of various maladies and dangers and malformations that can just appear out of nowhere and never leave you. From a page to another you just feel that you need to go to check your little one again and again, and consider to schedule tomorrow first time in the morning a meeting with the pediatrician. Not funny at all, I know...

But there are also some advantages of reading parenting books: you can find good advice and smart inspiration and some systematic lists of things that you should consider in various situations. Prescription (RX) for Parenting was a good reading, not only because it is brief and uses many examples, but for the quality of the information and the practical advices. It has information addressing both the mother and the father, with advices for the single parent, and a rich collection of addresses - for the US readers - and websites aimed to help the reader to find the right person for the big problem.

Another target of the book is represented by the childcare workers, who are guided through their working challenges. 

I will focus a bit on the sections dedicated to the new moms, The pregnancy process, the birth, the post-birth adaptation, both at the psychologic and physical levels. Even though you may go through all stages smoothly - as it was my case - there is still a lot of pressure that will release when you want it less. Hence, the feeling of an ending - or the need to think that everything as you know it should just stop for good. What the author recommends is to take it easy, relax, not forget who you are, try to exercise daily, find a hobby and, very important, find a support system. The last aspect is particularly important in the case of single parents. 'Don't center all the day's activities around the children. Kids need to learn how to amuse themselves'. 

There is also important that the author outline the need of discipline and rules and the need to contact a specialist as fast as possible in case of various medical or psychological emergencies. I also appreciated that there is a small warning regarding the use of herbal medicine that can create various complications.

It is a book I strongly recommended to mothers and fathers and anyone with a baby project looking for daily practical inspiration.

Disclaimer: Book offered by the publisher in exchange of an honest review

Months 7-8-9 with the baby

Not too much update about our mother and baby life, isn't it? True is that in the last three months, there were a lot going on in my life, and in baby's too, and keeping a straight record of the step-by-step evolution was not always possible. Also, the summer time is here and when I am not at home cleaning and keeping the house maintenance at an acceptable level or finishing my writing assignments, I am out with the baby, enjoying the beautiful summer days.

To keep it to the point, the last three months with the baby were really amazing and every moment I am reminded how blessed I am to have such a jewel of a kid: not crying too much, healthy, most part of the time happy and pretty adaptable to various travel schedule. As an overview, not too many things happened but for him, my little - now - 10-month baby, he went through many changes.

First, the mobility developed a whole lot. He not only can seat independently for many minutes, but he is also crawling very fast. Thus, the most sensitive and dangerous parts of the house - such as corners and sources of electricity, were sealed and secured in a way to not create any harm to the baby.

The food options diversified considerably, and now he accepts more or less almost everything - except the spinach (he is my son too, after all). Solids are now an important part of his daily diet while the frequency of milk bottles decreased. 

One of the many things I've learned in the last months was to stop - definitely stop - comparing my kid with the others. We registered, for instance, for a crawling club, where every Monday together with other babies his age we do for one hour and a half various crawling exercises. At the time, he was not crawling too much, but other babies from the group, maybe one month younger or more were extremely fast at that. I made some worries for a while, thinking that maybe we, again, have a development problem. And waited and waited until one day, just like this, he crossed the entire house in less than 15 minutes, back and forth. 

During this time, we alse went away for three weeks, which meant a complete relocation for the baby, with a different temperature, food habits and bed. He coped with it very well, but there were some important challenges ahead, such as being faced with the problem of the lack of his special juice or the usual bottle food he is used with. 

Another observation for this period is that our baby grew up with very advanced social skills: he is very friendly with new people, utters cries of joy when encountering other kids in the buggy and even more loudly every time when we approach some dogs - or cats. We've been a couple of times to the zoos, and even to some goat park and every time he was very happy to see the animals.

This is all for now...More specific posts to come in the next days, covering the challenges of travelling with a toddler, foodie needs and other day by day challenges!

The book every new parent should read

The first days with the new baby are quite a stress. You need to buy many new things you never knew it exist and get used with the sleep deprivation and, if you breastfeed, to be sure that everything is done right for offering the baby the right amount of nutrition. Written by an experienced professional and private maternity nurse, The Baby Book helps you turn a potential nightmare into an enjoyable, unforgettable experience. 

This new edition of the book published ten years ago is very well structured and written in an accessible style. You'll find personal short stories, useful hints and, especially, detailed to-do and to-have lists that helps you navigate smoothly through the first year of your baby. Wish I had this book before, but even now it is not too late to check and make eventual corrections.

The encouraging tone of the author makes you feel just normal. There is no perfect parent and what we can do the best is to follow the general rules and principles, while trying to write your own parenting book. In fact, we are quite priviledged nowadays with so may advice and available resources that can be used regardless of our geographical location. 

The book is organised in big chapters, covering important issues such as feeding, sleep, emotional development. The main approach is the importance to create routines and rules. The sooner the better as the kids need to get used not always with a lot of love and cuddling, but also with rules and respect. 'Toddlers often gain a great sense of security from routine in an ever-changing world; for example, using the same bowl for breakfast or having the same story at bedtime'. It is what I noticed myself during the last extended trip with the baby, when my baby had to cope with a lot of challenges due to a different weather and room setting. 

I strongly recommend this book to new or old parents, as a very useful guidance during the first year of baby life. It makes the integration of the baby into your life and your life in general much easier.
Disclaimer: Book offered by the publisher via NetGalley.com

Baby love from DM

If you are in one of those emergency situations when your nappies are not enough or just you need a decent place to change your baby, pay a visit to your DM next door and you will have a surprise. As we travel quite a lot these days, we feel a big relief every time when we see such a drugstore, because we just feel safe and sure that our baby's sensitive part will be fine from now on. According to our experience, the changing corner is usually situated near the baby articles section.

In most cases, the place is clean, with a big changing pad. In addition, one can find nappies for different sizes, very resistant and generally good quality, plus various toiletries items you need for the delicate process: hand sanitizer, wet napkins, normal napkins. Every time we use this service we enjoyed the exprience and felt we are in a place where the wellbeing of children really matters.

Our troubled lives in times of Facebook

I am using Facebook from the very launch of the network and I keep being grateful for the chance of connecting with so many people that I love to be in touch with and to have daily my update of news and interesting facts in the world and my town. I recognize that once in a while I spend too much time procrastinating, checking things that at the first sight do not bring me any pinch of knowledge, but in 90% of cases, also this apparently dead time helps. After all, I am a social media consultant besides many others hats I proudly wear and I need to be updated about different trends and marketing and communication possibilities.

Facehooked offers a different perspective on the popular network, written by a psychologist that for years studied behavioral changes and listened to different stories of people whose lives was influenced at various respects by it. Following a analytic approach, it covers various aspects regarding the exposure of the virtual identities. 'Our sense of self is now being shaped through what we share and how we share it', observed Dr. Flores, and one of the visible effects of these changes are the new behaviors related to compulsive use of social media. However, in the case of addictions, the pattern keeps being the same, with various alterations given by the specific nature of the medium where it manifests. In general, social networks interactions give 'a new dimension to the therapeutic presentation'. 

Although it recognizes the positive effects of maintaining a healthy social media environment both online ad offline, the author focuses on the situations when Facebook can harm the mental integrity through: bullying, various manipulations, voyeurism, addictions etc. I completely agree with one of the advices that 'not everything we do have to be shared'. Also, I watch sometimes how parents are posting pictures online of their children, exposing them against their will to a publicity that maybe they do not want if anyone would have ask them. The world-wide interviews made by the author warn about dangerous trends and situations that dramatically changed lives and not always for the good, such as marriages destroyed, harassment etc.

A special section is dedicated to the Facebook phenomenon among teens, a category directly affected with a high consumption of social media and exposed to serious risks that their parents belonging to a different generation mostly ignore.

I really appreciated and recommend this book, for its systematic approach and various examples mentioned. Regardless the age group and level of social media use, everyone has something to learn from it.   

Disclaimer: I was offered the book via NetGalley, in exchange of an honest review.    

Why we all, but especially children, we need some good Vitamin D

Oranges and sunshine, the perfect healthy combination

Vitamin D, or the sunshine vitamin, plays an important role in the development of children, and especially in sunshine deprived regions as Europe, its levels should be kept under careful control. Its regularly consumption helps prevent rickets, and builds strong bones, teeth and immune system, reduces the risk of multiple sclerosis or heart diseases. When Vitamin D is deficient, there is a high risk of developping abnormalities, such as osteomalcia (soft bones) or osteoporosis (fragile bones). 

The minimal daily dose for keeping the constant level is of 200 IU, but according to many medical opinions, more exposure to the sun and consumption of foods such as oranges, milk, sardines, egg yolk, cereals or yogurth are recommended as natural supplements. Vitamin D deficiency is often causes by improper nutrition, but also by pollution, too much time spent indoors and lack of light, in general. At least 10 minutes of sun exposure every day can help, as this vitamin is produced in our skin in response to sunlight. 

This fat soluble vitamin, part of a family of componds that includes Vitamin D1, D2 and D3, is equally important for both adults and children. For the first year of life of my child, the doctor recommended a 600 IU dosis, the same ratio being advised for pregnant and breastfeeding women or for adults till 70 years. After this age, a level of 800 IU is necessary. In oder to give the right amount to your child, get in touch with your pediatrician and try to catch up as much as possible with the sun. What we are doing quite well lately!

3 things I wish I haven't done after giving birth

Now, with the kid approaching fast 6 months and me a full time stay at home mom, things look much settled into my life: I have a predictable schedule, when I can organise my time and my tasks and also have some little amount of time for myself and my writing gigs. But it was not always like this, and when I look back in time to the first four months of life of my son, I see a very different picture, with many hectic episodes if I look more clearly.

One of these days I did a retrospective overview of my last months and found out that there are some mistakes that I wish I haven't made. But as it is nothing to be changed, at least there are some lessons learned to be took into consideration a next time.

1. Going back to full-time work two months after giving birth was a big mistake.

The physical recovery went very well and within weeks I lost the few pounds added during pregnancy. My health situation was good - except a little anemy - and the little boy was also doing fine. The German law do not let new mothers work in the first two months after giving birth, but after that, it is up to the employer and the mother to find a better work solution. I was so happy to be able to go back to work that I almost scream 'Yes, I do' when asked if I can return after two months.

What happened? I was doing my work as usual, accomplishing my tasks relatively well, but with a high price. I was going to sleep late because I always had things to do in the house, woke up around 5 o'clock, feeding the baby and sometimes also cooking for the rest of the day, being at work around 7.30 and working till around 15.00 and coming back home with shopping list done, for cooking, cleaning, bathing the baby and keeping good company to my bf. During the day I also had to solve various domestic issues!

The result: After two crazy months, I realized that all the hassle is not worth my effort and energy. The job I had was nice, but not exactly the dream job, and the financial remuneration was not extremely high. With no real chances to improve my professional status - because it was nowhere to go up in this cute small family company - I took the dramatic decision of leaving and using the chances of one full paid year as a stay-at-home mother.

2. Throwing up parties after parties

When your kid is born in other country than the one where your families are living, expect a lot of visits and celebrations and late evening meals and long Shabbes meals. 

What happened: A week after I returned the hospital with the baby, we started to invite people almost every two days, and many guests and relatives on Shabbes. We - particularly I - wanted to impress everyone with my cooking skills and great cakes and many meals. I was also doing a lot of shopping, going from a special shop to the other for specific products and spices.

The result: Burned out. Completely. Because it was not only about cooking and shopping, but also about setting the meal, cleaning the dishes, cleaning the house, staying awake to make conversation, taking care of the baby at the same time.

3. Missing the chance of at least one hour for myself

My bf stayed at home full time with the baby for two months, the time when I was at work. After a busy pregnancy and a post-pregnancy even busier time, I rarely had time to go out alone or just take a breath on my own for a couple of minutes. Every time I was going out I always had a to-do-list with me and I was rarely able to meet one of my friends or go without a specific reason. Now I am alone with the kid for couple of weeks more and I am in the same situation when there is no way to leave the house unaccompanied. It is a nice company anyway so nothing to complain about. But...

What happened: Sometimes it was enough just to go out of the house, in the garden or till the corner of the street without nothing to do or to think about. Just like this, walking slowly, breathing deep the fresh Berlin air and coming back.

The result: Right now, I am waiting for that time to come back again, when I can go out on my own for a short walk. Promise that the next time will better use my time!

Parenting advice for the responsible parent

Like it or not, we as adults, are what our parents and grandparents made of us The person we are now is the result of historical parenting patterns transmitted or slightly altered, from one generation to the other. The good news is that we can change it and detach ourselves from the generational matrix. The bad news is that we need a lot of time and effort and very often the help of a therapist.
     Your Living Legacy is not a self-help book, but a guided tour of discovering yourself as a parent. It may happen that you will discover something radically different from what you expected. Based on over two decades of practice, it offers a rare mix for this kind of book-- of theoretical framework and practical checking, examples and exercises.  

     My experience with parenting books is that you either have one or the other, but maybe I am not literate in this domain yet. It also has the right balance of using simple wording for describing sophisticated parenting situations, which is another asset of the book, the author stays away from the temptation to show off high skills in juggling with complicated scientific terminology.

     Based on her clinical practice, the cases revolve around the mother-daughter relationship, which limits the perspective to a certain extent. It simplifies the discussion, but on the other hand eliminates the cases when the father is also an active parenting actor with a definitive role in the education process.

     Instead of focusing on the child as the main parenting problem, the author took into consideration 'what the parent is doing that might create or contribute to the problem'. A logical approach, as most of the child’s problems originate within the family. Further on, the choice of the parenting style is highly influenced by 'how you were raised as a child'.

     The dynamic of the relationship between mother and daughter is very complex and the merit of the author is to focus briefly on the most important interactions and potential sources of conflicts. For instance, “ rebellion” can also be a plea to get the parent to set stronger limits'. These issues are analyzed in the smallest detail through an extensive list of 20 parenting styles, defined generally as 'patterns of behavior that are your typical ways of interacting with your child, especially when you are under stress'. The questionnaire at the end of each description helps you find your own parenting style and gives short suggestions about how to go beyond the negative patterns.

     The sooner the problems are identified the better, as there is always the possibility to change the pattern and save the relationship with your child. Through communication, listening and learning from your child, besides seeking advice from a professional therapist, things can be changed for the good, and the mistakes used as a ladder to growth.

      It is a book that raises awareness and challenges you to ask questions -- it is never too late to start reading.

Rating: Four out of five stars

Disclaimer: The publisher offered my the book via NetGalley.com, but the opinions are, as usual, my own.